Come Ups & Let Downs

Everything is a huge letdown

And a huge come up

Sell your soul to the devil in you

The first person you have to con

Sell your soul to the devil in you

Keep what you can

Row row row your bot

Direction of the stream

The only time the river sucks

Is when you’re going the wrong way.

Go with the flow, you hoe

Prostitution is legal.

Kill the crowd

Cheat the crown 

Steal from the old 

They dying anyway.

Manipulation is key.

Children and seniors 

They don’t have any option 

So take a page from their book.

Big picture, big picture

See only the crowd

Keep them at arms length 

They ain’t as smart as me.

If they were, they’d be where I’m at

Not working

Money free.

Everything is fake and gay

Oh wait I guess that’s me.

Everything is so fake and gay

Fuck me sideways, senator. 

Inner peace is justified

When outer lust is pacified 

Yoga drugs sweat and/or fear

Embrace your sick desperation

Embrace your sickness

Embrace your self

Die, die alone.

Die young.

Have affairs.

Justify yourself, you fuck--

Or live long and suck. 

Grandmother.

(I read this aloud at my grandmother's funeral on Monday. I feel like some people who couldn't make it would like to read it.)

Gramma

Gramma Reetz.

Who was Lois.
What’s her middle name?
(Carolynne Jean I found out earlier.)

Tucking me in super tight
Marshmallow squares
The only time I ever ate peanut butter as a kid.
I love the stuff now...

The smell of cigarettes in the morning
Tinted with fresh buns. Buttered lightly.
And, if I’m being honest... a little dry.

Country music on an AM radio
That morning Saskatchewan summer sun shining in
The ride from Saskatoon was 4 hours.
I’d always get turned around at the midpoint diner.

You birthed us all. All twenty something of us...
without counting on my fingers, I figured...

You taught us all.

You were Echo opposite a Narcissistic world.
Simple. Clean. Smiling.
 
The farm.
Miss Kitty, that cat.
The smell of hogs... bittersweet in my nose at least.
Tart.
Like Saskatoon berry pie
After picking ‘em on Lake Blackstrap
While the men fished.

Old Archie’s
And metal cars.
Those belonging to one of you...
Or all of you...
All of us.

As it’s passed us
We keep these badges
Like memories
And we’re reminded
Of what holds us
Together
Forever
Until we, too
Look to where we’re going:
Up.
I guess that’s what you get
When angels raise angels.
(More angels)

I told her one time she was beautiful.
It was at Bud’s wedding.
Later, she donned shimmering red lipstick.
So inconsistent, right?

She’s one of the most beautiful people I’ve known.
I’m so lucky.
I’m so fucking lucky.
Thank you, Grandma.
I love you.

She seemed to show up
When you needed her most
Like a hero.
On a scale of hero to villain
She layeds nowhere in between.